Something I wrote as a kid.

Oookay, story time guys.

I was about 11 or 12 years old when I wrote this. Late elementary school/early middle school was a really bad time for me. There was this, bluntly put, /bitch/, I was 'friends' with. Me and my little circle of friends were all friends with her. She was like the 'leader' of our group of friends, or at least try to be. She would always catch an attitude with us and would always fight with all my other friends, keep me and one other friend as favorites.

I slowly tried to grow away from her, and and the other girl that was her favorite friend. So, eventually, somehow we got into a fight about something and just separated. I was so happy to finally get away from her. But no, things couldn't get that simple with her. She constantly, and I mean /constantly/ talked about me. Like over every thing. She convinced all of my friends that I was some horrible human being, copied my style, my looks, and even how I walked.

And in the end, I was all alone. No friends, and alone in the cold. Every day for about two months, I was this big emotional ball. I would literally cry every single day. I would wake up, cry, then go to school. I would cry in the bathroom around the middle of the day again. Go home then cry soon as I got in the door. Let a few hours pass. Cry in the shower again. And then cry myself to sleep. Repeat. This went on for a good month.

Eventually, I took some of my friends back. I quit being such a pussy about everything and got some friends. Boom. So more emotional wuss. I still hated the girl for a good two years. But I didn't cry again over her since.

So a few months ago, I saw the girl again. I was going to this festival with one of my good friends, and she just showed up. The girl I hated smiled at me, I smiled a fake smile at her, and all of those horrid memories came rushing back. I didn't show any emotion, but when she finally left, I had to take a minute away from the other friend to keep myself from falling apart again.

All of this happened when I was 11 or 12. I'm 15 now, and have all of that behind me. But all of that has left me scarred and responsible for a lot of my insecurities today. Like how I'm always thinking no one really loves me, my friends don't really like me, and my social awkwardness. I prayed to God a lot wanting her to go away or something bad to happen to her. Nothing ever happened, that's a big reason why I'm a Satanist now.

Sorry about my fucking life story guys.

- SJ